your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
