you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
