I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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