all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
