Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
