hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
