Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
