oh god the rape fog is back!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
