she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
