You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
