what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
