There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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