i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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