Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
