I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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