I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i out mim tonsoeep
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