Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
