So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
