i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
