he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
