how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
