now i know why i became what i already was.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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