I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
