somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
