Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
