like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize