the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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