How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
