i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
