SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize