I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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