WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
