Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
