Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
