You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
