Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
