Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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