i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Houston, we have a blender
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
