it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
