I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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