nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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