fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize