i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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