I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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I have post one night stand depression
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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