woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize