I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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