Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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