Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize