All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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