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• (410): View more from Maryland

  This is evicking siegelnvs

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Im sorry?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  This is fucking ridiculous*

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes

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• (631): View more from New York

  Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"

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• (801): View more from Utah

  It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!

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