I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
