Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
