You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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