i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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