I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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